weird

Wow.

In a month and a half I feel like a lot has changed. A whole lot. I know what I want and I'm just trying to get there one day at a time.

I've been hanging out with Justin. Never thought that would happen, ever.again. I almost thought I was crazy to even think about it. But he seems like he has changed and I've had fun spending time together. No, I would never ever try a version 2 relationship. But he's a good friend for sure and we can have fun together.

I think I may just have found a place to live. Fingers crossed. 8th and South Street. People look cool (i facebook lurk), roof deck, great location and the house is covered with an Isaiah Zagar mosaic. Now I just need to see if I like the people in real life. haha

.....

i just wanna wake up and roll over to someone in bed beside me. :( i miss that so fucking much.

.

blah blah blah

Mhmmm

And if my hands find themselves another body, well you cant blame them for trying to keep warm.

I need a cutie to enjoy this fabulous weather with. I want to go pumpkin picking, bike riding, long walks in the city with coffee in hand, museum/zoo hopping, haunted houses and curl up under blankets and watch scary movies. I fucking love Autumn.

And the days, and the days they seem like forever...But forever isn't ever enough!!

Streetlight Manifesto. Love them. Going to ska shows makes me feel like I'm sixteen again. I love it. Dancing is great. & good music is even better.

I'm confused as hell with a lot in my life. Sometimes, I feel like I am absolutely crazy. But I'm still so excited about this new chapter in my life. A restart is really something I've been needing for a while. Remaking friends and making new ones is all fantastic. I'm getting to know myself again and it feel great to be me. It feels great to just let loose. I can't wait to find somewhere new to live and I really hope it's with fantastic people. I'm also very excited to be able to afford life. For too long I was paying too much only to live with my boyfriend at the time. Paying way too much and having someone else depend on me. Thinking it was worth it. It wasn't and I really feel like that's what drove it all apart. I don't want to live with any love interest for a while. Sleep overs will be hella nice tho. I hate coming home and sleeping alone every single night. I need a cuddle buddy. I need someone who just accepts me for who I am and makes it obvious that they know how caring and wonderful I am. I've got a deep heart but a smart head. I don't want anything too serious just yet and I'm certainly not trying to push anything. If someone makes me happy then fine. But whatever happens happens. I'm going to keep one foot on the ground with anything that happens.

Also, I'm going to go to bar tending school. I want a job that I am going to have fun at. I don't want any more quotas and take rates. I don't want to have to worry about getting so much data on a contract, selling so many accessories per phone, setting up email, capturing their email, setting up their self service, friends and family, asking for referrals and closing small business deals. All while making the customer believe that I really care for them with a fake ass smile and laugh to go with it. I fucking hate it. It's redundant and lame. I really think I would be amazing at tending bar and waiting on people. Customer's love me now! I have a killer memory at work. I wanna do this until I figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. Sometimes I think it's medical, or somehow helping people, and sometimes I just want to own a bar/venue. I really have no idea. But whatever I do I want it to make me happy.

my heart is a stereo

i'm pretty happy as a whole. i'm glad i have such good friends in my life.

Always one foot on the ground

Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to be able to be in a healthy relationship. How am I going to ever be able to trust anyone? I'm just so tired of empty promises and lies. I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of being taken advantage of.

:o(

I'm not going to put all of myself out there anyone. I'm not going to bank on anyone. Whatever happens, happens.

i picked

the worst night ever to get fucking drunk.

:o(

I ain't no wolf, but I'm hungry for your looks, alright, this much is true.

Thank you god for cigarettes, iced coffee, and music.

Driving and walking around the city is so soothing to me. I get to think so much about my life and what I want and I've come to a lot on conclusions. Honestly, maybe this break up was a good thing. I get to start all over again and I don't have anyone holding me back. I get to live my life and act my own age. No more trying to be someone in their mid 30s and never having fun in life.

Tomorrow I'm going to the Philly Seaport Museum to go see their new(er) exhibit 'Skin & Bones'. Tattoos in the life of an American Sailor. I love traditional style a lot and I'm sure I'm going to be walking out of there wanting even more tattoos than I already plan to have.

&& I also get to go with the most adorable boy that I have seen in the city, ever. :o)

Oh, Lord knows I'm tired,

But I, I, I won't rest my head until I'm home.And if my hands find themselves another body, well, You can't blame them for trying to keep warm. Oh, lord knows I'm weak,But I, I, I can't clear my head if I'm asleep.

It's been one perfect crime, all my life until tonight.

I'm going to make September my bitch.