such a bad day

these are the times that my heart aches because i dont have him to make me smile no matter how shitty i feel. it fucking blows. I miss the person that I was the closest to. The only person that was able to keep my head on straight, weigh me down, and make me feel at ease no matter what was happening.


fuck.

Merry Christmas! High point of tonight was my sister saying 'Hail Satan" while my dad was saying prayers. My parents hated it and I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard. After dinner and such I went to Nole and Ariel's and we all exchanged gifts. Fun fun.

Work tomorrow and then off for two days. I am so happy to go back to 5 day work weeks. I felt like I was running myself into the ground. Also, we recieved our last paychecks of the year. Cleared 52k! Fuuuuucccckk yeah. Why do people go to college again?!

i miss listening to the mean streets and going to their shows. i honestly love them.

ew, somehow i've become a total single guy magnet and 90% of me doesn't want it. haha but it is fabulous none the less.

haha I don't know why I get really sour during holidays and such. I think it's all the hours at work and the crazy people. I should honestly just be happy. I'm talking to a few guys and they are all very interested. I've been making money and I have been managing it well. I go out a lot and have a ton of friends. & they are all unbelievable friends. and a family that helps me whenever they can and gives all of their hearts to me. im lucky as hell.

i am tho i little upset that my roomie will be moving. we love eachother! although i am excited for another refresh so fast. hopefully i find someone fabulous to live with in this awesome apartment.

I think I'm going to be just as sad on christmas as I was on thanksgiving. i don't like the holidays anymore without him. it just doesn't feel right anymore..&& i really miss his family.

...it still really pulls at my heart sometimes.

winter time begs for you to get under the covers with someone and spoon. :)