haha

Pretty sure that the cheese shop across the street from me deals drugs. It's still 'open' at 12:30am and women who look like coke whores knock on the door and are let in and then they leave a few minutes later.

When will my heart let go?

Hmm. Huuuge chapter of my life has closed, officially. Old apartment is empty. Moved into my new one. I absolutely love my new apartment and this new start. No more living with the ghosts of the past. But I'm pretty sure parts of my heart are still there. I don't want to get upset everytime that I think of him.
Can someone help my heart move the fuck on? But, 3 years with someone and 2 years of living with them during the biggest changes and greatest times of my life is pretty hard to get away from. We moved out of our parent's homes together and spent every god damn night together. The worst part really is that we share all of the same friends. Can't even go to the party I wanted to go to tonight because he is bringing her and I know that the first time that I get to see her that I am going to ruin her ugly face. & I don't plan on doing it at a friend's home. She is honestly the most disgusting and pathetic person I have ever known, really. Ever placing trust in her and ever caring about her makes no sense to me now.

I like to pretend I have a hard exterior / But let me get this off my chest

Whenever I was sad or feeling low you would know right away, lay down beside me and hold onto me tight. "boo" "babyyyy" "i love you" Instantly, I would feel better. You meant the world to me and knowing that you were there for me, cared so much, wanted to make me happy made me believe there was nothing wrong. I felt so goddamn lucky. ....I try not to show it or even allow myself to remember/think about how I feel now. But still, I'm torn up inside. I couldn't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone else ever & I never have in the past. I never believed days like these would exist or that I would ever be heart broken by him. I truly, truly loved him. & I guess I still maybe do. && It sucks that this entire apartment just reminds me of him. Every time I walk into it. I can't wait to get out of here sometimes. I can't have these ghosts around me any longer.


The first time that I met you I knew One day I would know you even better ...You are the only one I love You are the only one I love You are the only one I love to love

The smoke, it sank into my skin

'Cause these last three years, I know they have been hard, But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun, Even if its alone.

oh, hey

still, i miss you so fucking much.
:o(

fuck,

Owen. I love you but you always make me so sad. I need to get some tickets and someone to go with. The show is the day after my birthday.

:(

I've been bottling up way too many emotions. Trying to cover everything up and keep myself busy. Trying to keep my mind off of all of it. It's starting to eat at me. I don't know. But honestly I don't want to go over it any more in my mind. There are no answers and there isn't any type of resolution. Just time to restart, refresh, and renew every thing. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, lonely, and tired. Can a cute fucking dude please just come into my life and distract me even more? I've got such a big heart .. I'm tired of it feeling so empty. I just want to forget the past again.


Consider this, that he was moving on while
She was busy trying to pass the time
Between the previous and next nervous breakdown.
The girl had given up the love of her life.

Oh, you really need to settle down,
And let it go.
You really need settle down,
No you really need to let it go.
For good, forget his lies -
It's the only way to save your life.
'Cause this is restitution
For the love you've thrown away.

Just say you left me like you could.
Oh, oh you said you never would.
Just say it's done, and be gone.
Just say it's done, and be gone.