I like to pretend I have a hard exterior / But let me get this off my chest

Whenever I was sad or feeling low you would know right away, lay down beside me and hold onto me tight. "boo" "babyyyy" "i love you" Instantly, I would feel better. You meant the world to me and knowing that you were there for me, cared so much, wanted to make me happy made me believe there was nothing wrong. I felt so goddamn lucky. ....I try not to show it or even allow myself to remember/think about how I feel now. But still, I'm torn up inside. I couldn't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone else ever & I never have in the past. I never believed days like these would exist or that I would ever be heart broken by him. I truly, truly loved him. & I guess I still maybe do. && It sucks that this entire apartment just reminds me of him. Every time I walk into it. I can't wait to get out of here sometimes. I can't have these ghosts around me any longer.


The first time that I met you I knew One day I would know you even better ...You are the only one I love You are the only one I love You are the only one I love to love